Sunday, May 17, 2015

The songs I cannot sing

Many years ago I read a story about a young woman and her caretaker. The young woman was disabled and needed care for her daily needs. Her disability was to such an extent that she could not talk and make her thoughts and needs known.

She communicated by blinking, one blink for no and two blinks for yes. Her caretaker would sing to her from time to time as she did things like bathe and dress her. And one day asked her if she had a favorite song?

She blinked twice for yes.

After guessing a bit and going song by song through the hymnal, the young woman blinked twice again. The song was, "There is Sunshine in my Soul Today." So the caretaker sang this song for her, but was wondering why this was her favorite song. When she got to the second verse on the second line she sang, "For Jesus listening can hear, the songs I cannot sing."

She stopped here and asked if this is why it was her favorite song.

This story has stayed with me for years. And it is something that I think about often.

I enjoy writing poems and think that I am good at it from time to time. I am proud enough to thing I have a bit of a talent for writing. Its a hobby I have pursued most of my life. But there are many times that I find myself struggling to  find the right word or rhyme.

When I come back to something that I wrote and published in the past. Sometimes just a few days earlier. I see it with critical eyes. Its not as good as I thought it was while I was writing it. At least not to me.

I try, from time to time, to write poems and posts about my testimony of Jesus Christ. Of his gospel. And of the things that help me to be strong and happy in this life.

Sometimes when I come back later and read them, I wish I had spoken more clearly or used different words. But there is something that I never regret.

I never regret bearing my testimony or bearing witness of Jesus. I know that he hears not only the words that I say and post, but the words of my heart that I meant to say, but am unable to write, speak or sing.

As a poet and writer, I sometimes feel like I am just grunting out my stories and poems. But I know that as unintelligible as I can be, that Jesus can hear what I am meaning to say.

For the rest of you, I just have to apologize for my flaws. I'll try to keep the grunting to a minimum.